Power Words and Their Impact on Eating Disorders or BDD

Body Image Beliefs – telling a teen they look beautiful, when they feel ugly, doesn’t work.

It can be really tough for parents when their teens have a negative relationship with their body, all too often this can lead to body image issues. How can you help challenge negative body image beliefs and promote a positive and healthy relationship with their body?

Often the temptation is to contradict their beliefs, for example telling them they are beautiful when they say they feel ugly.

Why doesn’t this work?

It’s like asking for a coffee and getting an ice cream. You’re not getting what you need.

Let’s break it down to show you how an adolescent views this.

You feel ugly today and you want to feel accepted and ok. Feeling beautiful is so far in the distance of your thoughts that just looking ‘ok’ will do and is manageable, but instead you feel ugly and as a result, not worthy of relationships.

The feeling of being ‘ugly’ hasn’t just arrived today, this feeling has manifested itself to this point. It started with one single thought and that thought grew until they arrived at ‘ugly’. When a teen feels this way, what they are really saying is: There is a huge part of me that doesn’t accept how I look and I can’t ignore that part of me; it is too powerful to turn off.

What can you do to help?

Ask them:

How do you want to view yourself? What would make you feel better in yourself?

You could also say:

You look fine, or, I see a great face. This may sound the same as ‘beautiful’, but they are different. The word beautiful is a power word and if you tell someone they are beautiful, they may believe you for just a moment, but then they will always aspire to reach ‘beautiful’ because you labelled them with this.

Everything we say to teens sinks in, and it sticks!

When a teen has a belief that they are ugly, that belief is usually a core belief and the only way to change their belief is to bring awareness of it and show them that they can choose what ever belief they wish, regardless of their looks or body shape.

A change in belief won’t happen over night. It needs work; that’s why we show teens the four stages of acceptance, so that they can see what stage they’re at and how far they need to go, to practice a new belief, before it sticks.

Body Image Coach can help

Use the link below to book a free no-obligation session with one of our team to see how we can support teenagers, parents and teachers to move towards a positive body image.

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